Tiger Balm

Sri Lankan ceasefire
Amnesty amnesia
Peaceful namaste

I say, I say, I say...

Variety show
An entertaining hodgepodge
Vaudeville olio

Ticket to Ride

Ireland swiftly sinks
Hopes pinned on prayer and lotto
Bonanza besought

Green-eyed Goddess

Unrequited lust
Crazed nympholeptic attack
Hell hath such fury

Bunny Hopping

Kids seek Easter eggs
Fossicking and frolicking
Cocoa treasure hunt

Película del Oeste

Spaghetti Western
Lip-synched Hispanic show-down
Mussitated script

Flick of a Switch

Meditative flash

Sharp epiphanic instant

Satori moment

Vlad the ...um...Paler

Blood-sucking vampires
Noctilionine phantoms
Lucifugous spooks

Take it Away!

Brassed off brass band banned
Confiscable instruments
They're gone with the wind

Unwritten Rule

Invisible feint
Penned with disappearing ink
Self-effacing type

(!)

Legs spread akimbo
Bracketed exclamation
Punctuated porn

Phobic

Latest iPhone apps
New-fangled technology
Gizmo rigmarole

Love it!

Devine yeasty spread
Celestially derived
Manna from heaven

Green Power

16-inch courgette
Fending off ursine attacks
Well whodathunkit?

Pope on the Ropes

Big man dressed in white
The Holy 'See no Evil'
Self-serving aeon

Wailing Wall

Distance makes me keen
Absence makes the heart fonder
I'll remain agog

Swift Humour

Gargantuan eyes
To rival Marty Feldman
Brobdingnagian

Unrequited

Imago amour
Yours is the face I still see
When I close my eyes

Jerked Feet

St Vitus danced it
Sydenham choreographed
Jazzy jactation

Future Perfect

A bright dawn awaits
Perpetual forward flux
The optimist wends

In the Can-Can

Vaudeville, Moulin Rouge
Feathers, powder, paint and flesh
A burlesque display

Graduated Affair

Benjamin Braddock
Mrs. Robinson's toy-boy
Hobbledehoy lust

Crisp 'n' Dry

Crystals on the grass
Visible breath before me
Frabjous morning walk

Punctuation Haiku#1

Colostomy-bagged
Puncturated post-op change
A semi-colon

Mature Students

Lapping up knowledge
Noddy dogs in the front row
Barking out answers

Tantalising Tit

A hint of nipple
A smudge of pendulous breast
Diaphanous blouse

Stop!?

Punctuation types
Astonished curious group 
Interrobang gang

Blob Guests America

Large quaggy songstress
It ain't over till she sings
Star-Spangled Banner

Suited and Booted

Transgender role-play
It's her who wears the trousers
Androgynous boss

Unfriendly Fire

Better watch your back
Lest an arrow be shot there
By arch enemies

An Exceptional Host

'This bread is divine!'
'It's my special recipe.'
Ambrosial meal

Skin Deep

'Am I beautiful?'
'Um...' paused the plastic surgeon
Cosmetic filler

Calendar Girl

Looney lunar looks
The babe with Betty Boop eyes
Gave full-moon regards

Tittle Title

A soupçon of French
With requisite cedilla
Vrai accent français

If Looks Could Kill

His eyes said it all
Murderous subaudition
She withered and died

Lover's Lament

You were good to screw
But without you I feel screwed
Oh how I rue you

Saucy Decisions

Bearnaise sauce with steak?
Or Hollandaise with salmon?
Guess I'll roux the day

Fahrenheit 451

Disgraceful 'Pastor'
Planning a Qur'an bonfire
Ramadan ding-dong

Just Desserts

Dubious cold dish
A hint of bitter almonds
It's just a soupçon

1977

Party in the streets
A royal celebration
Silver jubilee

Hai-kugel

A happy new year
With rambunctious horn-blowing
L'shanah tovah

North and South

Divided country
Eire remains just a dream
Gerrymandered isle

In the Biblical Sense

Divine trinity
Tantamount to testament
Holy rubric cubed

Turin Mystery

Unknown shrouded corpse
Zetetic detective work
Reveals John Doe's name

Savvy Navvy

Luminous waistcoat
Hi-visibility work
Kenspeckle labour

Treble Trouble

Witches cachinnate
Stirring a bubbling cauldron
High-pitched regicide

Parent Power

Omnipresent mum
An innate ability
For bilocation

Mouth Watering

Meandering chat
Anacoluthic drivel
A tortuous stream

Treasured Chests

Beachcombing voyeurs
Sneek a peek as girlies beek
Bikini-clad trove

A Warm Deceptive Smile

Tricked out of my treat
By your Jack O'Lantern grin
Cruel shenanigans

Neighbourhood Wotcha

A cheery hello
To the kith in the locale
Safety in numbers

Fromage Fray

Cheshire cheese cat fight
Wild feline that got the cream
Ailurophile scrum

Daydream Believer

Late afternoon nap
Drifting off on the chaise longue
Couchant reverie

Eggy Bred

Can I have some...more?
Oh I'll never have un oeuf
Milquetoast Maman

Bacon and Sauerkraut

Jewish and Irish
A fatal combination
Till death do us part

Puntsh Drunk

Black-belt in black hat
Roundhouse kick to the punim
Hassidic judo

Yid be Needin' a Map#2

To Tipperary?
Vey iz mir! Don't start from here!
It's a long aul' schlep

Yid be Needin' a Map

To Tipperary?
Well, I wouldn't start from here!
It's a long aul' schlep

Word Nerd

Enunciation
Vowel-consonant science
Fine orthoepy

Hot Scott

Midas Connery
Guaranteed Pussy Galore
With his Goldfinger

Hot Scotch

Tight little island
Make mine a Gaelic coffee
With whisky galore

What Lies Beneath?

Ovine overcoat
Appearances can deceive
Masking lupine truths

What's all the Skype?

Circadian beat
Thrown by sweet nocturnal jive
But he rocks my world

Take it Back

Cruel repossession
Bailiffs knocking down the door
Distressed distrainee

Food for Nought

Greedy gossips seek
Salacity in volumes
Scandal gormandized

Me 'n' U

He's so delicious
He makes me avaricious
Gormandize me now!

Vitreous Humor

Wolfed from a glass plate
The belly's bigger than them
Juicy gormand eyes

Old Spice

Meat that's past its best
Sharply dressed in camouflage
Piquant maquillage

Apoplectic

Sudden burst of rage
Boiling sanguinary stew
A foudroyant stroke

Funny Bones#2

Nimble phalanges
Delicately vellicate
Digital delights

Funny Bones

Nimble phalanges
Fluency in effleurage
Digital delights

Transatlantic Blues

Unlike Liza 'M'
Letter 'S' makes me enthuse
Rhapsody in 'Z'

Take it Lying Down

Face the unknown prone
When posed a puzzling koan
Choose to sleep on it

Altared State

Jilting the poor groom
The bride absquatulated
Fast on frigid feet

Straight Ruler

Given twelve inches
An upright gerent will take
A foot, not a mile

Grounded

Knickers in a twist
Flying gives me the fantods
Thank God for Xanax

Which Craft?

Etymology
Voodoo? Magic? Charisma?
That's some mojo source

Thrush

I've an honest yeuk
A little bird told me so
Being candida

Green Horn

Cow eyes bat coyly
Naive novice innocence
Cheechako amour

Note to Self

Try to keep it breve
Even shorter: semibreve
Better still: minim

Put the Skids on

Sit and rest a while
Take a constipated pause
On a tarry stool

Hold the Mayo!

With cries of fowl play
She served up a dressing down
A spatchcock sandwich

T-Junction

Which path should you take?
Let serendipity choose
Why prognosticate?

Footwear Destiny

Blithely Nancy stomped
Those boots put to their purpose
Stiletto revenge

Warmongering

Bush-Blair deceptions
Casuistry mass-destructs
Where were those weapons?

Boobed

Silicone implants
Exploding at altitude
Busticated bust

Monstrous

Rodent behemoth
Wee cow'rin tim'rous beastie
Scares biblical hulk

Polemic

The blame game plays out
Televised finger pointing
Where lies the onus?

A Steady Hand

Swift decisive cut
The Mohel's eighth-day duty
A nebbish-free zone

Making Waves

Manual fervour
Zealous gesticulations
Windmills of my mind

Blood Suckers

Malarial pests
Protozoan parasites
Quotidian sweats

Size Elevens

Learn to keep it shut
Avoid foot-in-mouth disease
Flibbertigibbet

Mistress and Commander

Paddle-spanked and whipped
Enjoined by cuffs and collar
He's dominatrixed

Walk the Wok

Oriental stroll
Chinese constitutional
A round-bottomed dish

Medicinal Purposes

The juice of the grape
Vinum as panacea
Elixir of life

Lurex

Ravelled lustrous yarns
Nitid metallic fibres
Purlescent sweater

Just a Phase

My honeymoon wax
Has grown a four-week stubble
As lust's ardour wanes

Cashing in

Burning down the house
My potlatch party will rock
Dowse the flames with gas

Veto

Don Corleone
To wear Sicilian garb?
A tough decision

Gem

Diamond in the rough
Wrought by celestial hands
Heavenly bijou

Ouch!

'Put me down!' she cried
Onomatopoeic drop
She lands with a squelch

Twilight

Crepuscular sun
Dimming on the horizon
Vespertine view

Hazy

I barely recall
Delicious fading features
Evanescent face

Self-love

Dumb Narcissus
Object of your own desire
Hunk adoré

Buff

Golden adonis
Perfect specimen of man
Hunky doré

Red Hot Polka

The Grim Reaper calls
On a rug-cutting mission
Quelle danse macabre

Drunken Sailor

Slow unsteady yaw
Strong liquor swells beneath me
Lubricated legs

Hungry Heart

My appetite yens
A gnawing heartburn grumble
Bitter jealousy

4-1

Abysmal display
Despite the disallowed goal
St. George would feel slayed

Captivating

Enclosed audience
Attention now held fully
You're mine to enthrall

Gâteaux

Pedestrian choux
Puffy decorated feat
Delicate cakewalk

Vuvuzela

African trumpets
Herald ghanaian triumph
Homeward USA

Contact

Dextrous digits stroke
My unrivalled ecstasy
Finger-licking good

Smurf

'Neath phrygian caps
Blue faces blanch in terror
Evil Gargamel

Struck

Tactile comedy
Through slapstick haptic contact
Laughter touches us

Dam-busted

Battle-scarred players
Steel themselves against the Hun
The old enemy

Apertures

Ornate architraves
Transgressing Baroque portals
Rococo egress

Dangling

My sweet neck festooned
With ball and chain emotions
A life's baggage packed

Cumbria

Twelve lies the tally
Innocent victims shot dead
Which trigger triggered?

Nightmares

Wine and cheese party
A noctivagant repast
Soporific meal

Gauteng

In hijacked buildings
Sit improvised embassies
Sham Joahnnesburg

Vacated

Solar-tinted skin
Kissed a hint of pink and tan
Neopolitan ice-cream

Ropey

Bold Bacchus beckoned
Dionysus insisted
Mourning this morning

Caesura

Haiku hiatus
Brief prosody vacation
On black sand I lie

Sovereignty

Sweet silent moment
Tranquility reigns supreme
A regnant pause

A Certain Age

Moldering brunette
Her varicose veins throbbing
Venous not Venus

Sound Threshold

Lewd vessel-banging
Wedding night shenanigans
Bawdy shivaree

Pyrotechnicians

Incendiary
Kingston lights the touch paper
An explosive joint

Neutered

Chiennes épuisées
Fatigued by lack of chaleur;
The dogs came in spayeds

Unseasoned

Doggone doggerel

Your corpus interruptus

Hampers pure haiku

Pickelicious

Heavenly Branston
Vinegary Valhalla
For heroic veg

Shady Individual

Charcoal reverie
His face in adumbration
My mono lover

Waistful

Oh supine rapture
His hand on my saddle point
To which he is prone

Sneeze

Doctor's waiting room
Invisible diseases
Transpire the ether

Slug Repellent

A jungle-like lawn
Too long was it left uncut
Phlegmatic was I

Kiss

Calyx encircled
In divine osculation;
My corolla waits

Yorkie

More Fergie faux pas
A cash-for-access scandal
It's not for Royals

Exhausted

Pneumatic crisis
My tyre leaves me deflated
Jointly we suspire

Bengali Bonus

Chicken jalfrezi
Peshwari naan and pilau
Here's a fat baksheesh

Cock o' the Walk

Avoiding traffic
Reckless chicken crosses road
A plucky display

Mint Sauce

Sheep bleating wake me
Hateful ovine dawn chorus
Lamb chops for dinner

Bankers

Bank of Ireland wins
The shareholders' votes are cast
The tax-payers lose

Holy War

Not-for-prophet group's
Mohammed cartoon contest
Sparks facebook jihad

One of the Regulars

This lexicon is
The site I frequent; so I'm
An habitué

2012

Wenlock, Mandeville
Children scream in terror at
One-eyed humanoids

Ed to Ed with David

Labour leadership
Let battle commence, Ed Balls
Contra(Mili)band

On Haiku

A linguistic gym

To flex my verbal muscle

Oral pilates

A Start

Syllabic poets;

My sesquipedalian

Haiku début's here.